My DH is very depressed and won't believe me that it's so. I'm a SAH, he is about to get out of the military after 10 years (was not working for our family and our belief system now that we are parents) and we are moving from our home into a hotel for 5 months, then to KY where he is from. We have been married 4 years, have a soon to be 3 yo and a new son born in January. The job was killing him mentally and emotionally, but now he is depressed beyond just a bunch of work stress. He is not himself, has no enthusiasm for ANYTHING, even things he used to love and is making whacko decisions that are out of character - for example, wanting to co-sign a loan for one of his subordinates and his wife who couldn't get a car loan. He sprung this one on me and we are always the couple to really talk about anything of that sort. He barely knows the guy - it was the depression, I KNOW it.
The big problems here are that:
1. he doesn't beleive there is a problem
2. we are very anti-drug (use homeopathics and stuff for anything we can) and even though I am "integrative medicine" b/c I think he needs drugs and therapy, he is adamantly opposed and says NO! (but again, this also goes back to #1
3. he is the type to think therapy is crap and no one would be qualified to help him even if he acknowledged he needs help.
4. I am having some mild PPD myself this time, and I think some of his thinking may be that he figures I am just being "Kate-crazy" which has always been a joke between u, only it isn't funny now b/c there is a bigger picture and joking about me negates the reality of his problem. My PPD is VERY VERY mild and probably more stress-of-moving, major-life-change, now-having-2-kids, husband-losing-his mind than anything els. But I think he thinks that is where I am getting this "crazy" idea that he is depressed.
I am worried. Because he is ill, I can't even talk to him. My DH is "not here right now" but some imposter is living in him.
I have all these thoughts swarming and I don't know how to help him or if I can.
Any thoughts, opinions, advice? Anyone BTDT?

This book is an excellent self-help book on depression: It is essentially Cognitive therapy without seeing a therapist. This book has been used extensively by therapists to help their clients and has a great track record. You could check it out from the library to see if it may be helpful.
It also has a test to take to see if someone is depressed and how depressed they are. I found the book and test to be very enlightening. At the very least, the book is a cheap place to start educating yourself (it may also help with your PPD) and possibly helping your dh.